Thankful

Life is so precious. Every breath, every moment we have should be treasured. Unfortunately, in the midst of all the busyness with children it is hard to see what matters most - that God has granted me one more day to make memories with the people I love. I say this because I thought I might die a couple days ago. After spending Thanksgiving with both my husband's family and mine (it was wonderful), I went home and started feeling AWFUL - chills, aches, then nausea, THEN the left side of my chest, shoulder and ribs started to hurt. My mind ran with thoughts of "Oh my God! I'm having a heart attack. Something is really wrong." I didn't want to take a chance, so I headed to the ER. I spent over 2 hours in the waiting room, waiting to be put in a bed. I was feeling so awful that I had to lay down on the floor until they called me - UGH?! These are the moments that bring me to my knees. I began to pray to God to help me, to give me strength, to watch over my family if it was my time to go...such powerful thoughts in prayer. After spending NINE hours in the ER (they were crazy busy), doing blood tests, an X-ray, an EKG, and tracking my heartrate and blood pressure, it was determined that I have PNEUMONIA - yikes! I'll take that over a heart attack any day. They pumped me with antibiotics, sent me home with 5 prescriptions, and told me to get lots of rest (we'll see how that works with the kiddos). In the end, I am grateful to have this day to hear the chaos of my children downstairs with my wonderful husband caring for them. I am grateful that my children welcomed me at the door with concerned looks when I returned home from the hospital. I am grateful for the gentle hugs, and adoring smiles I receive from my kids. I am grateful for my amazing husband who is cleaning and cooking as I type. Thanksgiving has a whole new meaning for me this year! God has blessed me beyond words.

3 Musketeers

Look at the adoration in Matthew's face :)

Stop to smell the roses (ok - geranium)...

14 months and growing fast...

Middle child neglect

I have a confession...a very difficult confession to say/type outloud. My middle child, Matthew, has been neglected in SO many ways. Don't get me wrong, he is very loved, and his physical needs are met. But, what about his emotional, psychological needs? I underestimate his ability to comprehend. I don't trust him to behave in most situations. I blame him every time his baby sister cries (if I didn't see what happened). I put him in timeout more than his brother. I expect him to be tough.

Reading what I just wrote, I'm not sure if I will post this? What a horrible mother! No wonder he is having emotional breakdowns (ok - it could be that he is 3 years old) and speech difficulties. I just pray that I can stop making all these mistakes with him, and just enjoy him, love him, trust him, and believe in him.

All of these thoughts are coming out because I took Matthew, only Matthew, grocery shopping with me today (his idea, not mine). I usually enjoy grocery shopping by myself, but Matthew soon became such a joy to have by my side. I was SO proud of his helpfulness, cooperation, and conversation skills. He chatted with me. He helped me pick out items at both stores. He listened to me. Our relationship grew closer as we spent time together. I love that kid! I'm so blessed to me his mommy.